How to Find Resiliency in Failure

I am often asked how I listen to stories of sadness or other problems each day, my response is, ‘I love to see how resilient we are as human beings,’. I am always amazed at how our brains and bodies find ways to cope and overcome the challenges we face. Even though, these coping patterns may be unsustainable over time they kept us alive and moving. There is strength and room for celebration in this.

I very much echo the thoughts and feelings of Winston Churchill regarding success and failure. I have always held the personal ideal of allowing moments of failure to be stepping-stones we can use, not stumbling blocks. My personal journey has taught me some basic strategies about resilience during times of perceived failure I would like to share.

1-      The ‘Glad Game’ played in Pollyanna where for every 1 negative thing you must think of 3 positives, is something I have implemented into my life since watching the movie years ago. People in my life often call me Pollyanna for this exact reason. I always look towards ways of being grateful. I have a strong visceral reaction to the feelings of anxiety which come from feeling lost or hopeless. I developed a rose-colored glasses view of the world at a very young age to cope.

2-      Look for the good in others. I truly believe we are all doing the best we can with what we have. I feel overall we have good intentions towards each other and are trying to survive. I have rarely if ever spoke to anyone who wanted to cause harm and generally there is a deep sense of regret and sadness for causing another’s hurt.

3-      I believe if it is right it will work. I will always try at something and if that works out then it was meant to be. In the event I hit strong resistance or a feeling of “this is not possible” I seek another path. I feel this keeps me pointed in a positive direction and gives me a sense of hope and control over my life.

4-      My first year of college I ran into the quote, “if you have come to the end of all you know and the next step is in the dark, one of two things will happen, either you will step out onto solid ground or you will be taught to fly.” I take each new step in hope and belief of either flying or walking a new path.

5-      I believe strongly in the Karmic Laws. I think daily about what I am putting into the world and how I would feel about having this come back to me.

I know each and every one of you have also found ways to cope and be resilient in your own life. I offer these ideas as possible tools to add to your own toolbox. I would encourage you to reflect and identify what tools you already have in building resilience. I would love to hear what is working for you.